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Home > Humor > Essays > Ask a Mexican
Ask a Mexican
by Arellano, Gustavo
 
 
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Ask a Mexican
DEAR MEXICAN: WHAT IS ¡ASK A MEXICAN! ? Questions and answers about our spiciest Americans. I explore the cliches of lowriders, busboys, and housekeepers; drunks and scoundrels; heroes and celebrities; and most important, millions upon millions of law-abiding, patriotic American citizens and their illegal-immigrant cousins who represent some $600 billion in economic power. WHY SHOULD I READ ¡ASK A MEXICAN! ? At 37 million strong (or 13 percent of the U.S. population), Latinos have become America's largest minority -- and beaners make up some two-thirds of that number. I confront the bogeymen of racism, xenophobia, and ignorance prompted by such demographic changes through answering questions put to me by readers of my ¡Ask a Mexican! column in California's OC Weekly. I challenge you to find a more entertaining way to immerse yourself in Mexican culture that doesn't involve a taco-and-enchilada combo. OKAY, WHY DO MEXICANS PARK THEIR CARS ON THE FRONT LAWN? Where do you want us to park them? The garage we rent out to a family of five? The backyard where we put up our recently immigrated cousins in tool-shack-cum-homes? The street with the red curbs recently approved by city planners? The driveway covered with construction materials for the latest expansion of la casa? The nearby school parking lot frequented by cholos on the prowl for a new radio? The lawn is the only spot Mexicans can park their cars without fear of break-ins, drunken crashes, or an unfortunate keying. Besides, what do you think protects us from drive-bys? The cops?"


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Title of ebook: Ask a Mexican
ISBN: 9781416562061
parent-ISBN: 9781416540021
Publisher: Scribner
Pages: 272
Published: 05-2007
Released online for download: 05-01-2007
Author of eBook: Arellano, Gustavo

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Ask a Mexican


Introduction

Cultural Understanding via Wetback Jokes

Mexicans! Spicy, wabby, drunk, dreamy. The downfall of the United States. Its salvation. Mexicans mow our lawns, graduate from college, fleece us dry. They're people with family values -- machismo, many kids, big trucks. Our neighbors south of the border. Our future. Tequila!

Who doesn't love Mexicans? Whether they're family, friends, or the gold-toothed wetbacks you (heart) to hate, Mexicans have been the focus of America's obsession from the days of Sam Houston to today's multinational corporations. We give them jobs, ridicule them, and devour Mexican food as quickly as they do our social services. But we never bothered to know Mexicans. There never was a safe zone for Americans to ask our amigos about their ways, mainly because we never bothered to learn Spanish. Besides, how exactly would you ask a Mexican in person why, say, so many of them steal or why they use accents without earning a kick in the cojones? A word, by the way, that no Mexican uses.

With this in mind, OC Weekly editor Will Swaim c ... read full excerpt from: Ask a Mexican ebook



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