Crash into Me
The third time I tried to kill myself I used a rope. I picked the clothesline from the basement. I f gured the cord didn't have to be real strong because I wasn't going to drop off a bridge or from a tree. I needed it just strong enough to kill me.
I've tried to kill myself six times; seven if you count walking down the median strip near the trucks and thinking of jumping in front of them. I suppose that doesn't really count. I didn't do anything that time except walk and practice falling off the curb into traffi c. Everyone (mostly my mom, the psychiatrists, my two counselors) says that if I wanted to die, I would pick more lethal methods. Rope, I think, is pretty lethal.
The car slows. Frank turns off the expressway.
The third try was my angriest, my most dangerous. I put that thin white cord around my neck and tied a slipknot. Then I pulled it so tight that I pinched the skin on my neck and made myself pass out -- but not die. I did end up with a bruise from rope burn that I couldn't explain away. I was in the psych hospital for ten days that time.
The car turns again onto a smaller road.
"How long until we can stop for the bathroom?" Jin-Ae moans from the fron ... read full excerpt from: Crash into Me ebook
