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Home > Humor > Humor General & Other > Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquett-eBook
Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquett
by Friedman, Kinky
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Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquett
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Delivering belly laughs, hee-haws, and downright slackjaw amazement, this hilarious guide to the homeland of George W. and Willie Nelson is the essential how-to for surviving in the Lone Star State. From strange Texas laws and the history of Dr. Pepper to "Texas Talk" (in which a "turd floater" is a heavy downpour) and final-meal requests by death row inmates, Kinky Friedman, "the oldest living Jew in Texas who doesn't own any real estate," provides an insider's guide that will be loved by native Texans and the rest of us poor devils alike.

Even if you don't know the difference between an Aggie and an armadillo -- or what's really in the back on Willie Nelson's tour bus -- you can pass for a Texan with the Kinkster's expert coaching. So grab your hairspray and the keys to the Cadillac and get reading!



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Title of ebook: Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquett
ISBN: 9780061538582
parent-ISBN: 9780060935351
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Internet download file size: 3038 kb
Pages: 224
Published: 10-2007
Released online for download: 10-02-2007
Author of eBook: Friedman, Kinky
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Kinky Friedman's Guide to Texas Etiquette

Or How to Get to Heaven or Hell Without Going Through Dallas-Fort Worth

Chapter One

Things You Would Never Hear a Real Texan Say

  • I think that song needs more French horn.

  • Is that tuna dolphin-safe?

  • The tires on that truck are too big.

  • There's no place in my home for obscenity!

  • I believe the proper word is "African-American."

  • I'll have the decaf latte, please.

  • William Robert, you appall me.

  • This red wine has a rather cheeky bouquet.

  • I've got two cases of Perrier for the Super Bowl.

  • Fried pig rinds are disgusting.



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