Squeeze Play
A Novel
Chapter One
Opening Day
April 3 You see a lot of penises in my line of work: short
ones, stubby ones, hard ones, soft ones. Circumcised and
uncircumcised; laid-back and athletic. Professionally
speaking, they have a lot in common, which is to say they are
all attached to guys, most of whom are naked while I am not,
thus forming the odd dynamic of our relationship. They are
athletes who believe in the inalienable right to scratch their
balls anytime they want. I am a sportswriter. My job is to
tell you the score.
Generally I try not to look at their penises, which is why I
always carry at least two felt-tip pens and a steno pad. This
way I can take notes without staring at the glans of some poor
son of a bitch who has just been demoted to Triple A. But the
fact is: penises have a way of intruding upon your field of
vision, especially if you are five foot one, which I am. One
time I was hiding behind my steno pad talking to Tyrone
Jackson, the basketball player, when my notebook began to
quiver. After that, the line on Tyrone was he really gets off
on being interviewed.
So I pretty much thought I had seen it all, until today.
My name is A.B. Berkowitz and I have been a ... read full excerpt from Squeeze Play ebook
