Reality TV Bites
A Novel
Chapter OneBetween the Devil and
the Deep Blue Sea
I've heard it said that in order to find her prince, a girl has to kiss a lot of frogs.
Start calling me Wart Lips.
When I was a little girl I'd dress up in my pink leotard, ballet slippers, and tulle skirt, paint my nails Pretty Princess Pink, and set my rhinestone tiara high on my red pigtails. Then I'd line up my subjects -- Malibu Barbie, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, the Cabbage Patch Kids, the Monchhichis, and a stuffed white kitty -- and play princess.
The object of the game was simple. I ordered everyone around. If any of my vassals disobeyed -- Strawberry Shortcake in particular had a stubborn streak -- I'd threaten to banish her to Ick Land, i.e., the hallway where my older brother Grayson waited to pounce on her and pull off her head.
If my subjects were good and obeyed me, then they earned the privilege of sitting with me on my pink-canopied daybed and watching through the bedroom window for the noble prince's arrival.
I'm stil ... read full excerpt from Reality TV Bites ebook