The Eldercare Handbook
Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions
Chapter OneA Time of Confusion
and Uncertainty
Victor and Grace had been married sixty-two years, a lifetime, and each viewed the other as a best friend. Sitting in my office with his son, Victor felt enormous guilt talking about handing over Grace's care to someone else. With one look, I could tell he was not taking care of himself; he needed a shave and a change of shirt. While his son Tim did most of the talking, Victor alternately closed his eyes and looked at his lap. As I questioned him directly about Grace, he silently wept. I asked him how Grace spent her day. What event had made him consider long-term care?
Two months earlier, Grace was diagnosed with cancer of the kidney, and she currently required dialysis three times a week. With each procedure, she became weaker and weaker until caring for her became a formidable task. Her husband could no longer bathe and dress her or monitor her diet.
"My son says it's not fair to his mother to leave her alone with me," Victor lamented. "I guess ... read full excerpt from The Eldercare Handbook: Difficult Choices, Compassionate Solutions ebook
