Startled by His Furry Shorts

Chapter One

living in fiascoland

saturday june 18th
9:00 p.m.
I can't believe I am once more on the rack of romance.

And also in the oven of luuurve.

And possibly on my way to the bakery of pain.

And maybe even going to stop along the way to get a little cake at the cakeshop of agony.

Shut up, brain, shut up.

9:01 p.m.
Looking out my window at the stars.

It says in my Meditation for the Very Backward book that it is soothing looking at the universe and stars and everything.

Ommmm.

9:03 p.m.
The meditation book is wrong. God, stars are annoying. Winking and blinking like twinkly idiots. Why are they are so cheerful?

9:03 p.m. and a half
I'll tell you why they are so cheerful, because they are not me. They know nothing of the call of the Horn and snogging. Has a Luuurve God ever said to one of them, "I will let you know in a week's time if I want to go out with you or not"? No.

Anyway, what are stars for actually? ... read full excerpt from Startled by His Furry Shorts ebook