Love Is a Many Trousered Thing

Chapter One

hoooorn!!!

saturday july 16th
11:45 p.m.
Run away, run away!!!

Pant, pant, pant.

And double pants.

How in the name of God's novelty undercrackers and matching toga have I ended up running along the streets at midnight?

I'll tell you how. You wait ages for a Sex God to come along and then two come along at the same time. Where is the sense in that? If it is all part of Big G's divine plan, all I can say is this: "Keep it simple, Big G. Just give me one Sex God to eat at a time. And then if I am not full up, I'll have another one. Thank you. Regards to Baby Jesus."

That is all I am saying. Inwardly, obviously, as I am nearly dead with trying to run in my high-heel boots. I may have to lie down in a ditch in a minute.

11:50 p.m.
I had to stop and sit in the hedge by the park. I'm so out of breath. Hurrah, I am sitting in the dark like a panting vole in a skirt.

three minutes later
Pant, pant. So this is a brief résumé of vole girl ... read full excerpt from: Love Is a Many Trousered Thing ebook