We're Still Family

What is the real legacy of divorce? To answer this question, Constance Ahrons, Ph.D., interviewed one hundred and seventy-three grown children whose divorcing parents she had interviewed twenty years earlier for her landmark study, the basis of which was the highly acclaimed book The Good Divorce. What she has learned is both heartening and significant.

Challenging the stereotype that children of divorce are emotionally troubled, drug abusing, academically challenged, and otherwise failing, Dr. Ahrons reveals that most children can and do adapt, and that many even thrive in the face of family change. Although divorce is never easy for any family, she shows that it does not have to destroy children's lives or lead to a family breakdown. With the insight of these grown children and the advice of this gifted family therapist, divorcing parents will find helpful road maps identifying both the benefits and the harms to which postdivorce children are exposed and, ultimately, what they can do to maintain family bonds.

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Title of ebook: We're Still Family
ISBN: 9780061767852
parent-ISBN: 9780060931209
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Pages: 304
Published: 10-2008
Released online for download: 10-07-2008
Author of eBook: Ahrons, Constance

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We're Still Family

What Grown Children Have to Say about Their Parents' Divorce

Chapter One

No Easy Answers

Why the Popular View of Divorce Is Wrong

"Everyday meat and potato truth is beyond
our ability to capture in a few words."
-- Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

It was a sunny, unseasonably warm Sunday morning in October. In a quaint country inn in New Jersey, surrounded by a glorious autumn garden, my young grandchildren and I waited patiently for their Aunt Jennifer's wedding to begin. The white carpet was unrolled, the guests were assembled, and the harpist was playing Pachelbel's Canon.

A hush came over the guests. The first member of the bridal party appeared. Poised at the entry, she took a deep breath as she began her slow-paced walk down the white wedding path. Pauline, my grandchildren's stepgreat-grandmother, made her way down the aisle, pausing occasionally to greet family and friends. A round of applause spontaneously erupted. She had traveled fifteen hundred miles to be at her granddaughter's wedding, when only days before, a threatening illness made her presence doubtful.

Next in the grand parade came the ... read full excerpt from: We're Still Family ebook

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