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Home > Humor > Humor General & Other > Executricks
Executricks
by Bing, Stanley
 
 
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Executricks
People in the high flush of a successful but sometimes frenetic business career often look with envy at those who have entered their golden years. Ah! they think. To be retired! Free to wake when you wish, to have the time to reflect on the deeper things in life, play golf or quoits, or just go fishin' in the middle of the day. The stressed-out mind boggles at the prospect, and the lip cannot help but tremble and drool.

At the same time, you may not be emotionally–or financially–ready to hang it all up. Which is why, whether you're a withered graybeard or a teeny young future hotshot in leather jodhpurs, you need Stanley Bing's global positioning system for a sane and pleasantly successful life: Executricks, or How to Retire While You're Still Working.

Bing is the ultimate corporate insider, one who has attained nosebleed altitude and worked long and hard enough to lose his desire to work long and hard enough. Over time, he has watched the power players who have made their jobs into a waking festival of indolence and fun, and gleaned a vast range of executricks they have developed over the years, based around several core concepts:

  • Delegation, or getting other people to do the stuff you don't want to
  • Absence, or the ability to get "work" done while not being physically on the scene
  • Abuse of status
  • Acting visionary when confused
  • Intense engagement (used only in crisis)

A wellspring of executricks flow from these simple precepts, including:

  • The use of the cell phone and BlackBerry to establish a permanent state of simultaneous Omniscience and Not-Presence
  • Roping off mealtimes as zones of defensible entitlement
  • Travel as an alternative to work
  • The art of the nap
  • Golf–the ultimate dodge
  • Philanthropy and social activism, a pleasant parallel universe

Executricks is the most precious of resources for those who work hard but would rather be hardly working: a secret handbook that lays bare the stratagems of those who have already ascended to the pinnacles of power. No office, home, or backpack should be without a dog-eared copy. Early adopters earn extra points.



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Title of ebook: Executricks
ISBN: 9780061645266
parent-ISBN: 9780061340352
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Pages: 208
Published: 06-2008
Released online for download: 06-03-2008
Author of eBook: Bing, Stanley

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Executricks

Or How to Retire While You're Still Working

Chapter One

The Office, and the Manipulation of Space/Time

A man's office is his or her castle.
Sir Edward Coke (1552-1634)
(Updated)

Hm?! Oh, my. I must have fallen asleep again. Happens to me just about every day at this hour, doesn't it. So nice to be able just to sack out on the couch whenever I feel like it. Nobody bothering me. No bells ringing, at least none I have to answer. I think I'll go downstairs and get myself a cup of cappuccino, extra foam, with a double shot of Colombian. And a cookie. Yeah, definitely a cookie. Better still, I'll have Doris do it. After that, I think I'll go online for a little while. Watch what's new on YouTube. Do some e-mail. Better not forget to water my plants. Better still, I'll have Doris do it. I wonder what time my next meeting is? I don't feel much like seeing anybody. I know. I'll have Fred do it.

No, the person speaking above is not retired. The person we will be hearing from at the top of every chapter of this book is in the blessed state to which we aspire. He or she is an executive. And if we work very hard at not working very hard, we can live like executives too ... read full excerpt from: Executricks ebook



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