Series of Unfortunate Events #9
Chapter One
When my workday is over, and I have closed my notebook, hidden my pen, and sawed
holes in my rented canoe so that it cannot be found, I often like to spend the
evening in conversation with my few surviving friends. Sometimes we discuss
literature. Sometimes we discuss the people who are trying to destroy us, and if
there is any hope of escaping from them. And sometimes we discuss frightening
and troublesome animals that might be nearby, and this topic always leads to
much disagreement over which part of a frightening and troublesome beast is the
most frightening and troublesome. Some say the teeth of the beast, because teeth
are used for eating children, and often their parents, and gnawing their bones.
Some say the claws of the beast, because claws are used for ripping things to
shreds. And some say the hair of the beast, because hair can make allergic
people sneeze.
But I always insist that the most frightening part of any beast is its belly,
for the simple reason that if you are seeing the belly of the beast it means you
have already seen the teeth of the beast and the claws of the ... read full excerpt from A Series of Unfortunate Events #9: The Carnivorous Carnival ebook
