Consider the Lobster
Chapter One
BIG RED SON
THE AMERICAN ACADEMY of Emergency Medicine confirms it: Each year,
between one and two dozen adult US males are admitted to ERs after
having castrated themselves. With kitchen tools, usually, sometimes
wire cutters. In answer to the obvious question, surviving patients
most often report that their sexual urges had become a source of
intolerable conflict and anxiety. The desire for perfect release and
the real-world impossibility of perfect, whenever-you-want-it
release had together produced a tension they could no longer stand.
It is to the 30+ testosteronically afflicted males whose cases have
been documented in the past two years that your correspondents wish
to dedicate this article. And to those tormented souls considering
autocastration in 1998, we wish to say: "Stop! Stay your hand! Hold
off with those kitchen utensils and/or wire cutters!" Because we
believe we may have found an alternative.
Every spring, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
presents awards for outstanding achievement in all aspects of
ma ... read full excerpt from: Consider the Lobster: And Other Essays ebook
