It's A Wonderfully Sexy Life
Sunday, December 24
Baltimore Museum of Art
5:45 p.m.
Hours to Christmas: approximately six, oh, joy! Countdown to New Year's Eve, the hands-down worst night of the year to be thirty and single: exactly one week. Calories consumed: 8,000 give or take. (It's only 5:30 p.m.—crap!) Evil bosses on list for strangling: one, but could never get hands around thick, bulldog neck.Yet another dream dies on the vine. (Sigh). Times so far today mother looked up at velvet painting of Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus and asked when am I going to settle down and start having babies like a good Catholic girl: only five so far but haven't been home since breakfast.
THE MUSEUM'S VISITOR PARKING AREA was filling up with BMWs and Porsches when Officer Mandy Delinski turned off Art Museum Drive and pulled into the lot. Bypassing the valet parking guys, she swung her squad car into one of the staff only spaces next to the catering truck, stole a quick glance in the rearview mirror, and then reached across the passenger's side to the glove compartment where she'd stashed her diary and, most importantly, her lipstick. Why I bother I don't know, she thou ... read full excerpt from: It's a Wonderfully Sexy Life ebook
