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My name is Teddi Bayer. Not as bad as, say, Candi Kane, but still...
No biggie, you think? Then picture this: a newspaper ad for Bayer Furniture the Sunday after I was born. There I am, naked except for a big bow around my neck, superimposed on a bed of teddy bears. Below me are the words IN CELEBRATION OF THE BIRTH OF OUR LITTLE TEDDI, BUY A COUCH THIS WEEK AND GET A FREE TEDDY BEAR! BETTER STILL, BUY A BED
AND MAKE ONE OF YOUR OWN!
Fast forward twelve years and imagine a raucous bunch of adolescent boys trying to cop a feel of my mosquito bite breasts to see if I'm "stuffed."
And my parents expected me to turn out normal? Somehow, despite my name and my genes, for thirty six years I've managed to defy the odds. That is, until today, when, to show that they are team players and can embrace a common goal, my entire family — and that includes my too good looking for his own good husband, Rio — ...
read full excerpt from Who Makes Up These Rules, Anyway? ebook
