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Home > General Fiction > Humorous > The Kid Who Batted 1.000-eBook
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The Kid Who Batted 1.000
 
 
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The Kid Who Batted 1.000

The Des Moines Majestyks are deep in the cellar... so deep that it seems nothing short of divine intervention could even get them up to the ground floor. They do have one star, Juan-Tanamera "Bueno" Aires, an ex-basketball phenom who performs miracles at the plate and magic in the field. Unfortunately, team owner Holden Canfield, who's struck it rich with an Internet start-up, spent the entire team budget on acquiring "Bueno," leaving the rest of the roster painfully devoid of talent.

Manager Zuke Johansen has just about given up hope when an unexpected thing happens: A scout introduces him to Marvin Kowalski. A straight-A student, valedictorian of his high school class, and on his way to MIT, Marvin knows little about the rules of the game, and his pencil-thin physique would get him laughed off a big-league diamond. But Marvin has one brilliant skill. The ultimate "one-tool" player, he has such a good eye that he can tell what kind of pitch is coming almost before it leaves the pitcher's hand. And even though he's not much of a hitter, his reflexes and coordination are incredibly fast -- so fast, in fact, that nobody can strike him out, as Zuke Johansen quickly sees. Marvin may not be Babe Ruth, but he has found a way to exhaust -- and utterly enrage -- opposing pitchers, driving them to distraction before he takes his inevitable base. Faced with the prospect of leading his team to one of the worst season records since the game was played without gloves, Zuke is desperate enough to wonder if Marvin's strange talent might just lift his Majestyks out of the cellar....

The Kid Who Batted 1.000 is one of those rare sports novels that will appeal to fervent fans as well as those still trying to figure out the infield fly rule. Generously sprinkling his story with some of the best-loved one-liners in the game, Troon McAllister delivers a darkly funny behind-the-scenes look at our national pastime, cementing his place as a major-league humorist.

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Title of ebook: The Kid Who Batted 1.000
ISBN: 9780385505307
Publisher: Doubleday
Internet download file size: 348 kb
Released online for download: 05-14-2002
Author of eBook: McAllister, Troon

The Kid Who Batted 1.000


Chapter One

Des Moines, Iowa-April 23

It was an achingly beautiful day, the sky so blue you wanted to mount it in a ring and wear it on your finger. The air was tuned to such a fine temperature you weren't even aware of it, and you could practically taste the sunlight syruping itself onto the empty seats. A phantom breeze swirled through the infield as though it had just knocked one out of the park and was taking a triumphant victory lap around the bases, shaking hands with the ghosts of storied giants as it eddied its way home. It was a dead-perfect day for baseball.

Down in the locker room, Zuke Johansen wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Even the distant but sharp crack of a bat slammed solidly into a ball, a sound ordinarily as melodious to Johansen as a Gregorian chant to a monk, struck him today as intrusive and, even worse, entirely beside the point, the Des Moines Majestyks having dropped into a cellar so deep that heartless wags wondered in print how they could've gotten there unless they'd started playing before the season had actually begun. The good citizens of Minnesota, who ... read full excerpt from The Kid Who Batted 1.000 ebook



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