How to Line Up Your Fourth Putt
Chapter One
How To Line Up Your Fourth PuttOkay. This method never fails. (Provided your third putt left you no more than six feet from the cup.)
1. Grab your putter.
2. Walk once slowly around the perimeter of the green mumbling the word “POO–POO–KAH–KAH” over and over, holding your club at arm’s length in front of you. This is the beginning of the ceremony.
3. Stop and button your collar all the way to the neck.
4. Stand over the ball and look up at the sky. Raise your putter into the air with both hands and say, “This, by God, is it!”
5. Slowly look down at your ball. It will have moved to about two feet from
the hole!
6. Remember all the things you have done wrong in life, keeping your chin on your breastplate.
7. Say “POO–POO–KAH–KAH” tightly one more time. Your ball will now be about one foot from the hole.
8. Step back, breathe deeply, and drop to your knees, “reading” the green intently. Quietly and gently say, “Aw, sheee...it.”
9. Stand up! Throw your putter down a ...
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