What to Expect When You're Expected
A Fetus's Guide to the First Three Trimesters
Chapter One
Conception
When Wanted Life Begins
So you're a zygote. Congratulations! Existence is one of the most exciting things that will ever happen to you.
You are the end result of both four billion years of evolution and three minutes of rubbing. In the cosmic sense, the question of where we come from, along with that of where we
go when-spoiler alert!-we die, are the unfathomable co-nundrums bookending our brief time on earth. But such metaphysical niceties are, perhaps, too abstract for a lay zygote like yourself. So let's focus on the more immediate causes.
"The Talk"
"Where do babies come from? And when will I get to be one?"
We'll begin with your mother. Word is she's so dumb, she hears it's chilly outside and gets a bowl. More to the point, she's also fertile, and last month, she released an ovum, or egg, from its dank cell inside the women's prison known as her ovary. No doubt this ovum expected to end up like most or all its older siblings-as part of a small ...
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