from Me and Ernie and Freddie
The kid from Home Alone had nothing on me.
I didn't know there was a name for children like me until one day I saw a commercial about a latchkey kid letting himself into an empty house after school. Every day, around three, that was me, letting myself in the kitchen door or slipping through an open window.
When you're home alone you find love in other forms and faces. Some kids talk to their toys. Some make up imaginary friends. Others live in imaginary worlds populated with people who don't argue or drink, folks who think nothing of giving you a hug or a kiss or a compliment or a smile. The people I interacted with on those lonely afternoons lived in a box. My electronic family -- variety show hosts like Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin, and Dinah Shore -- were always inviting funny and interesting people over to their place. Jimmie "JJ" Walker, Richard Pryor, and George Carlin were some of my early favorites, guys me and Ernie would sprint home from school to see.
Consequently, we got the comedy bug young, and we knew all the ... read full excerpt from Why You Crying?: My Long, Hard Look at Life, Love, and Laughter ebook