Dead Sexy
Chapter 1: The Charm Offensive
God, apparently as a prank, devised two sexes and called them "opposite." For 5,000 years the sex war has raged, with still no truce in sight. While birds, beasts of the field, invertebrates even, all pair off happily, breeding away without the aid of French ticklers, nipple-window bras, videos entitled Moist or Thrust, Viagra, She-agra, clitoris-orientation classes or Internet dating sites listing GSOHs -- the male and female of the human species are constantly at war. We're supposed to be the higher animal life form, but you don't see octopi going on dating-quiz television programs to get laid, now do you?
This is what Shelly Green thought to herself as she waited at the altar of a church on Euston Road, on a dark, damp February day, a sweat stain the shape of Ireland beneath each armpit of the posh frock she'd been tricked into wearing on the pretext that she was going to play classical guitar at a Valentine's Day wedding.
She just didn't know it was going to be her own.
The TV presenter, sporting a tangled, unruly hairstyle that few men outside a heavy metal band would d ... read full excerpt from: Dead Sexy: A Novel ebook
