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Home > Humor > Essays > Yeah, I Said It-eBook

Yeah, I Said It

Sykes, Wanda

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Yeah, I Said It

"Wanda Sykes reduces people to tears -- tears of laughter. She's done so as a stand-up comic, a sitcom star, and a sports commentator for years now, and in the process she's gained a huge fan base nationwide. Now that she's conquered television, she's applying her genius to her first book, Yeah, I Said It. Here, Wanda presents hilarious and uncensored commentary on sex, family, politics, celebrities, and much more than she could ever say in a sound bite. But then again, she's a genius with a sound bite too. Here's what she says about men and football. ""I used to think that football took place in this overbearing male-only environment that bled masculine domination. But the more I attend, the more I realize these football fans could actually be experiencing the straight man's gay pride parade. You see men painting each other's faces in bright colors. You see men proud to wear another man's last name on their shirt. You see some men wear no shirt at all....Hot wieners on every corner as you walk up to the main competition. Men open the back of their trunks for a little tailgating."" Here's what she says about women: ""Women are taking stripper classes in hopes their men will stop going to strip clubs....You can't compete with those strippers....You gotta have...the stripper mentality. In other words, the ability to lie like a dog for a measly buck. A stripper will tell your man anything for a dollar. 'Oow, I thought you were Brad Pitt.' "" An uproarious and irreverent collection from one of today's foremost comedic talents, Yeah, I Said It is Wanda Sykes at her uncensored best. Here, she channels her sharp wit into funny bits on the truth as she sees it from the halls of government in Washington, D.C., to the red carpets and boardrooms of Hollywood. Imbued with her razor-sharp voice, these essays showcase Sykes's sidesplitting candor and her trademark brand of comedy. "

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Title of ebook: Yeah, I Said It
ISBN: 9781416505570
Publisher: Atria Books
Internet download file size: 221 kb
Released online for download: 09-21-2004
Author of eBook: Sykes, Wanda

Yeah, I Said It

Chapter One

Are We Mad?

I don't mean to disrespect the president ... that's bullshit. You know I do. Hasn't anyone noticed that his eyes are getting closer and closer together? Pretty soon his left and right eye will be the same eye. If you look at him in just the right light (i.e., the light of truth), he resembles that weasel from the Kipling story, Riki-Tiki-Tavi. Talk about beady. And I'm supposed to trust this guy? He's either the greatest hypnotist since Svengali or we're just stupid.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we get rid of one president for lying about a government-sanctioned hotel break-in? And didn't we oust another because he lied about whom he had sex with? Last time I checked lying to us to justify a war trumps breaking into a hotel room and a blow job. Note the key word: lie. The only thing Bush ... read full excerpt from Yeah, I Said It ebook