Elvis and the Dearly Departed
Chapter One
Love, Vodka, and Red Pasties
Elvis has just peed on my shoes, which is my life in a nutshell.
Every time I think I'm fixing to forge forward, somebody
comes along to rain on my parade.
Not only do I have the most arrogant failed show dog east of
the Mississippi, but I have a beauty parlor that's more outgo
than income, an almost ex-husband I'm fighting for custody of
my dog and my inconvenient libido, and a mama who makes
withdrawals as if I'm the Bank of Callie Valentine Jones.
Currently Elvis is taking umbrage over getting dog chow for
supper while Dr. Laton's California relatives eat all the T-bone
steak. Uncle Charlie always offers the out-of-town bereaved a
place to stay, and my two-story, white clapboard house in
Mooreville (population six hundred and fifty) on the outskirts
of Tupelo is the only one in the Valentine family big enough to
accommodate Janice Laton Mims, her husband, Bradford, and
his three teenaged boys, plus Janice's seven-piece matched set
of Louis Vuitton luggage. The only good thing I can say about
the invasion is that I don't ... read full excerpt from Elvis and The Dearly Departed ebook
