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Home > General Fiction > Fiction General & Other > I Just Want My Pants Back-eBook
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I Just Want My Pants Back

Jason Strider is a twentysomething young man in the city, with an English degree from an Ivy League university, a very small apartment in the West Village, a vapid job as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no particular idea what to do with his life. On most evenings, Jason gets stoned and goes out, sometimes with his party-hearty school chum Tina and sometimes alone in the immemorial male quest to get laid or, if not, get hammered enough to really regret it the next day and be late for work.

Then one night Jason has athletic, appliance-assisted intercourse with a cute girl named Jane—and ends up lending her his Dickies jeans. Many, many e-mails and text messages later, he is unable to reconnect with her and is reduced to the plaint “I just want my pants back.” How he does, in a most unexpected way, find those pants, and how maturity and mortality come to enter his slacker’s existence, form the matter of this smart, raunchily comic, and finally affecting first novel.

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Title of ebook: I Just Want My Pants Back
ISBN: 9780767928502
Publisher: Broadway Books
Internet download file size: 1032 kb
Pages: 240
Released online for download: 08-07-2007
Author of eBook: Rosen, David

I Just Want My Pants Back

A Novel
1


I was a bored and hungry mammal. I lived in a small apartment on Perry Street that had a working fireplace, but only if you could find logs the size of cupcakes, as my hearth had the dimensions of an Easy–Bake Oven. I sat on my fire escape and watched happy couples come and go, finishing the rhyme in my head, “talking of Michelangelo.” But they were never really discussing Michelangelo. Marc Jacobs, who had opened a store on the corner, was a more likely subject. I wasn’t bitter. I didn’t want a girlfriend, not really, at least not right away. But I could have used a functional vagina. It had been a while since I’d had access to one of those, and my penis kept reminding me how accommodating they could be.

Sunday was winding down, and the streetlights flickered to life. It was early April and the day had held hope that spring had finally arrived, but as the sun set a cool breeze informed us we weren’t quite there yet. I zipped up my sweatshirt and wished once again that I smoked. It just seemed like something that might be nice to do, romantic. I stared at Hunan ... read full excerpt from I Just Want My Pants Back ebook




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