Excerpt
THE NOONTIME NEWS
In Rome today, Pope John Paul removed his little hat and revealed he has a small
map of Tombstone, Arizona, tattooed on his head.
Out at the lake in City Park, police have arrested a one-armed man who was
bothering the other boaters by continuously rowing in a circle.
Authorities say a severely disturbed geography teacher has shot and killed six
people who did not know the capital of Scotland. He is still at large and they
remind everyone the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh.
A man at a tool and die company died today when he was hit with a tool.
A Detroit couple is suing Campbell's soups, claiming a bowl of alphabet soup
spelled out an obscene message to their children. They state that at first the
little letters floated around in a circle, and then they formed the words
suck my noodle.
Millionaire clothing executive Dacron Polyester died in his sleep yesterday. It
was not a peaceful death, however, as he dozed off while hang-gliding.
A large dog exploded on a downtown street corner this morning. No one was
killed; however, several people were overcome by fur. Police estimate that more
than 600 fl ... read full excerpt from: Napalm & Silly Putty ebook