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Home > Humor > Essays > The Reluctant Metrosexual
The Reluctant Metrosexual
by HYMAN, PETER
 
 
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The Reluctant Metrosexual
"Peter Hyman is a great social critic, fashion plate, writer, and urban wit. With ten years of therapy he'll make a great husband too." -Susan Shapiro, author of Five Men Who Broke My Heart
"In his humorous essays about modern manhood Peter Hyman is sly and urbane but never cynical--no small achievement in an age of irony. I spent the book alternately psychoanalyzing him and trying to figure out who to set him up with. The Reluctant Metrosexual is a diverting, immensely pleasurable read, for thinking men and the women who love them." -Amy Sohn, author of Run Catch Kiss and My Old Man
'Bikini waxes, threesomes, drug-fueled adventures. No, it's not the memoir of a runway model. It's The Reluctant Metrosexual, a hilarious collection of essays that examines the foibles of modern manhood with wry sincerity. I just hope the author isn't ruined by his inevitable success." -Toby Young, author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
"The arrival of this new comic voice should prove welcome news for those who still take time out between apricot facial scrubs and closet-reorganization to actually read books, or just like to display them on their coffee tables." -Todd Hanson, Writer, The Onion


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Title of ebook: The Reluctant Metrosexual
ISBN: 9781588363800
parent-ISBN: 9780812971637
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 07-2004
Released online for download: 07-27-2004
Author of eBook: HYMAN, PETER

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The Reluctant Metrosexual


Chapter One

The Not-So-Happy Ending

“Big hands I know you’re the one . . .”

—violent femmes

When asked by a curious novice to define jazz, Louis Armstrong famously quipped, “Man, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.” The same edict apparently holds true for certain aspects of the ever-popular massage, a fact I learned the hard way.

Not long ago, in preparation for an upcoming triathlon race, I made a massage appointment at my health club, an overpriced Manhattan institution with a brash late-seventies tennis legend as its spokesman, never check- ing on the gender of the massage therapist. As a straight male, I assumed that the receptionist would somehow match my implicit preference (female). Preference, however, would have been a moot point: my gym offers only masseurs (males).

Unfortunately, I discovered this only as I walked into the small, dimly lit massage room. There I met Hans, a tall, well-built forty-something who looked as if he owned a closetful of well-worn leather chaps for weekend use. But no matter, I thought, trying to keep positive. Hans seemed nice enough, and when he lit the cand ... read full excerpt from: The Reluctant Metrosexual ebook



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