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Home > Biography > Editors, Journalists, Publishers > Lads
Lads
by ITZKOFF, DAVE
 
 
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Lads
"Funny and angry, LADS captures all the sad comedy of male life with fearless candor. Seeing through man at his worst is Itzkoff is at his best." -Rick Marin, author of Cad: Confessions of a Toxic Bachelor

"LADS is one of the most compelling not-coming-of-age tales I've read in a long time. Dave Itzkoff spares nobody, particularly himself, and the result is one agonizingly funny book." -Ted Heller, author of Funnymen and Slab Rat

"Reading Dave Itzkoff's relentlessly honest and darkly comedic LADS  is like watching a man's creation, his obliteration, and his sardonic redemption -- all before the age of 25. LADS may appear to be a media criticism, but it's really a humanity criticism. And it's remarkably dead on." -Chuck Klosterman, author of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Fargo Rock City


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Title of ebook: Lads
ISBN: 9781588364319
parent-ISBN: 9781400061136
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 09-2004
Released online for download: 09-07-2004
Author of eBook: ITZKOFF, DAVE

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Lads


Chapter One

1.

ALL GOOD THINGS

What i wanted after college was a job and my own apartment, but what I needed was a good comeuppance, and that’s what I got. A liberal arts education had provided me with many valuable lessons: Do not attempt to take the determinant of a nonsymmetrical matrix. Do not carry a balance on your credit card. Do not enroll in two consecutive semesters of any course taught by Joyce Carol Oates. Do not mistake two hundred and fifty years of consistency for proud tradition. And do not, under any circumstances, tell a girl that you’re attracted to her unless you’re absolutely certain that she reciprocates those feelings, and even then, do not do so unless she’s already confessed as much to you first. But only some of these lessons would prove useful outside the classroom, and I desperately needed to find out which.

The days leading up to graduation had been a flurry of activity, of neglecting to say good-bye to the people I hoped to stay in touch with, of constantly crossing paths with the people I prayed never to see again, and of trying to cram all my possessions into four equal-size cardboard boxes. And then it was over. Hours before ... read full excerpt from: Lads ebook



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