Duck Duck Wally: A Novel

GET SHORTY MEETS THE BIG LEBOWSKI IN THIS ROLLICKING MODERN COMEDY BY A CLEVER AND HILARIOUS NEWCOMER. Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

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Title of ebook: Duck Duck Wally: A Novel
ISBN: 9781416545088
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Internet download file size: 1335 kb
Released online for download: 08-14-2007
Author of eBook: Rotter, Gabe

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Duck Duck Wally

A Novel
chizapter 7

"Tuck your shirt in, Mosco. You look like a schlub." Two hours later Jerry and I were waiting for the elevator on our way up to meet the folks at Bionic Books, a small publishing company out of Santa Monica.

"It's not like I had time to go home and change into something nice, Jerry."

He tilted his head downward and peered at me over his silver-framed sunglasses, one eyebrow raised in doubt. "Wally, my boy, no offense, but you don't really have anything nice."

"That's not true, Jerry...Yeah. Yeah. I guess it is kinda true." Like he was one to talk. Jerry looked like a used car salesman from the Valley, but I didn't say anything. I needed him to be in his best form. "This is crazy, Jerry. I can't believe we're here!"

"Let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet," Jerry responded.

"Ha ha. Reservoir Dogs. Right?"

"What?"

"Reservoir Dogs." He looked at me like I was speaking Portuguese. "That line you just said is from the movie Reservoir Dogs. Right? Or was it Pulp Fiction?"

The elevator pinged! T ... read full excerpt from Duck Duck Wally: A Novel ebook

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