Blood Lite
An Anthology of Humorous Horror Stories Presented by the Horror Writers Association
The Ungrateful DeadKelley Armstrong
I see dead people. Unfortunately, they also see me.
One of the first lessons a necromancer learns is the art of playing dumb. When strolling down Fifth Avenue, searching for that perfect pair of shoes, pay no attention to the guy in the Civil War uniform. If he notices the glow that marks you as a necro, he will attempt to make conversation. Pretend you don't see him. With practice, you'll learn to finesse the act -- pursing your lips, tilting your head, murmuring "Hmm, I thought I heard -- Oh my God, would you look at those darling Jimmy Choos!"
Eventually, the ghost will decide you're untrained -- or just plain stupid -- and wander off before getting to the part that begins with "Say, could you do me a favor...?" Of course, one problem with playing dumb is that it seeps into your everyday life. But that has its advantages too. No one ever asks me to help with their taxes.
Now, as I stood behind the stage curtain, I searched for signs of any otherworldly presences. Nothing screws up a séance like the appearance of a real ghost.
In the theater, my intro began: "This is their world. A wor ... read full excerpt from: Blood Lite: An Anthology of Humorous Horror Stories Presented by the Horror Writers Association ebook
