Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad

What's the first thought that comes into a man's mind when he finds out he's going to have a baby? "My life is over." I've said it. I've heard my friends say it too. Not in front of our wives, of course. We're not crazy. --from PACIFY ME Basically GenX and Yers have never really grown up. For better or for worse they've let their inner child run things. They never got the freeness of the Sixties and Seventies; they just got the consequences. So their way of staying young and free was having a generational Peter Pan complex as seen in every Adam Sandler movie. But they did eventually have to grow up, sort of, but that inner child still defines them. So what happens when that Inner Child has a child? The obvious: they freak out. The first thought expecting fathers have after they realize they're not going to be the child anymore is not what they are going to gain, but what they are going to give up. They think of everything they won't get to do anymore, from going to the movies, going on vacations, going out to dinner, hang gliding, having sex with their wives, etc. That's the rub, that's the adjustment, that's the dilemma.Then to add to the anxiety there are all these things they don't know because they've never wanted to know about them. How do I stop a kid from crying? How many diapers will I really be changing? Is TV bad for him? Was it put him down on his belly or on his back? If Superman and Gandolf got in a fight, who would win? Will I have to go to a ballet recital? How soon can I have sex with my wife again? Where did my wife put her valium? Here are just a few of the questions that go through their heads all at once. And PACIFY ME answers them--and more. All the answers right at your fingertips.Oh, and it's Gandolf. Superman is vulnerable to magic.There's no better way to reassure the terrified new Dad than to make him laugh and assure him that he's not alone. Chris Mancini shares his own personal journey and with the power of hindsight distills all the information he wishes he had in one place when he was going through the whole process--covering the pregancy, the adjustment period and the infant years. There's even some advice for the future. And there's a happy ending. Chris Mancini not only (slowly) came to terms with having a child, but now loves it and can't imagine his life without his young daughter.

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Title of ebook: Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad
ISBN: 9781439137352
parent-ISBN: 9781439128879
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 06-2009
Released online for download: 06-02-2009
Author of eBook: Mancini, Chris

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Pacify Me

A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad
1
My Life Is Over

That's it. It's done. Finito. Stick a fork in me. Game over, man. The Fat Lady has sung. My life is over. It's the first thought that came into my head when I learned I was going to be a father. All of a sudden I knew my life was never going to be the same. No more doing what I wanted when I wanted. No more freedom. No more allnight Halo playing, no more going out with the guys, and no more eating pancakes whenever I wanted to. My life from that point on would be endless responsibility and child care. Baby food, crying, PTA meetings, and ballet recitals. I didn't want to go to the ballet! I hate ballet! Seriously, does anyone really like ballet? The flash of life ahead was making me feel light-headed.

I was never against having kids. My wife, Audrey, and I talked about it before we got married. I always wanted them eventually. But suddenly, eventually came. I had just gotten used to being an adult. My wife may debate this, since I said for my bir ... read full excerpt from: Pacify Me: A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad ebook

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