The Transition to Adoptive Parenthood

Adoptive parents are often told that they got their children "the easy way." Those who say that know little about the decisions and adjustments children and parents must make when they become "instant families" through adoption.Whether it is furnishing a nursery, buying school clothes for an older child, suddenly asking for a leave from work, dealing with parasites a child acquired before he left his country or grief experienced because he left his home, adoptive parents are hit with the full force of parenthood at once.

Although adoptive parents have often waited a long time to become parents, they are not always prepared psychologically or physically for the arrival of a child.The unpredictability of the adoption process sometimes keeps prospective adoptive parents from getting ready for the child's arrival.A fully furnished nursery is a symbol of hope to some, but a reminder to others of what is missing in their lives, so they put off preparing a space for the child in their home.

More important, they may not be emotionally ready for the significant new roles they will be assuming.In their efforts to protect themselves from the pain they will feel if the adoption does not proceed as planned, some prospective adoptive parents inadvertently fail to prepare themselves psychologically and spiritually for the likelihood that they will soon become mothers or fathers.Although pregnant women may be equally worried about the outcome of their pregnancies, they have a difficult time ignoring their impending motherhood. Waiting adoptive parents have nothing to remind them to slow down, to start making. changes in their lifestyles, or to take care of themselves during wh