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GIT-R-DONE
By: Larry the Cable Guy , Tony CamineBook Publisher: Random House
Imprint: Crown Publishing Group
Format: ePub Encrypted (DRM)
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Git-R-Done is chock-full of fart jokes and straight talk about America. I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do.
Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.
Lord, I apologize!
The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are!
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| Title of eBook: GIT-R-DONE | |
| Release Date: 10-11-2005 | |
| Allowed Countries (hover) | |
| Publisher: Crown Publishing Group |
This eBook download is available in the following formats:
| Parent title | GIT-R-DONE |
|---|---|
| Encrypted (DRM) | Yes |
| SKU | 9780307337573 |
| File size | |
| Internet Security | n/a |
| Printing | Not allowed |
| Copying | Not allowed |
| Read aloud | No Sys requirements Download reader |
| Devices | Samsung Tablet, Apple Ipad & Iphone, Barnes & Noble Nook, Kobo eReader, Aluratek Libre, Iliad, Nokia, Blackberry, Hanlin |
| Note | ePub, short for electronic publication is one of our favorites and should be yours for a couple of reasons. ePub offers reflowable text giving you flexibility to manipulate how the content is presented. Moreover, lots of cool features are now being developed for the reader like advanced video and audio. ePub is now an industry standard, so all of the "non-propreitary" hardware manufacturers are now supporting it. |
GIT-R-DONE
Chapter One
Chapter 1
GIT-R-DONE!!!
WELL, HERE WE GO. This is the first book I've written since 1975, when I was in the 7th grade and wrote Boogers Are Good Eatin'. Regardless of the title, that 27-page pamphlet earned me a C+ as well as several ass beatings from the class bully.
When they approached me to do this, I thought there's no way I could possibly find the time. I have all these other projects. I have a CD to put out. I have my tour schedule. I have to get a lawyer in Florida to help me fight the Supreme Court so I can keep the air hose in my blowup doll. So little time.
But after several days of . . . meditation . . . medication . . . masturbation! That's it! I not only decided to do it, I promised myself that this book would make Boogers Are Good Eatin' look like a seventh grader's pamphlet.
Set the bar high, that's what I always say.
I figure the thing most people want to know about me-other than how I keep my ass so muscular and hard-would be how I came by the name Larry the Cable Guy, and how I started doing social commentaries for radio stations across the country. Good questions, so let me get into this incredible story full of intrigue and dick jokes. (I'm glad no one is askin' about that time I was sodomized by Dick Van Patten.)
Since I don't want to waste your time with that boring "good old days" crap, I'll give ya a brief summary of how I came about in this world. My dad was a preacher; my mom ran the Tilt-a-Whirl at the fair. Somehow they met, had some teeth fixed, and got married.
I was born in 1963, as a C-section baby. I was born in section
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