TUNE IN. TURN ON. GEEK OUT.
Sorry, beautiful people. These days, from government to business to technology to Hollywood, geeks rule the world.
Finally, here’s the book no self-respecting geek can live without–a guide jam-packed with 314.1516 short entries both useful and fun. Science, pop-culture trivia, paper airplanes, and pure geekish nostalgia coexist as happily in these pages as they do in their natural habitat of the geek brain.
In short, dear geek, here you’ll find everything you need to achieve nirvana. And here, for you pathetic nongeeks, is the last chance to save yourselves: Love this book, live this book, and you too can join us in the experience of total world domination.
• become a sudoku god
• brew your own beer
• build a laser beam
• classify all living things
• clone your pet
• exorcise demons
• find the world’s best corn mazes
• grasp the theory of relativity
• have sex on Second Life
• injure a fish
• join the Knights Templar
• kick ass with sweet martial-arts moves
• learn ludicrous emoticons
• master the Ocarina of Time
• pimp your cubicle
• program a remote control
• quote He-Man and Che Guevara
• solve fiendish logic puzzles
• touch Carl Sagan
• unmask Linus Torvalds
• visit Beaver Lick, Kentucky
• win bar bets
• write your name in Elvish
Join us or die, you will.
Begun, the Geek Wars have
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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|Title of Romance eBook: The Geeks' Guide to World Domination|
|Release Date: 03-10-2009|
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|Publisher: Crown Publishing Group|
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The Geeks' Guide to World Domination
It has exactly 314.15 information slots. While I wish there were more slots, alas, there are not. And while I wish these slots were packed with things like mathematical proofs of Millennium Prize problems, the mechanics of teleportation using Einstein- Podolsky- Rosen entanglement, and the physics behind NASA’s new plasma propulsion engine, this is not the case either. Instead, elbowing out useful, enriching, or scientific facts are folding instructions for a jumping origami frog, lists of English words you can spell on a basic calculator, and haikus written in praise of SPAM (the pork product of questionable lineage), all of which threaten at any second to burst through my facade of normalcy like parasitic aliens from John Hurt’s chest. Geek attack: Picture it. It’s not pretty.
And, for better or for worse, I’m not alone.
Today’s ubiquitous geek is like a massive musical mixing board, with
various geeks turning up or turning down different dials, boosting–for
example–80s pop arcana or programming languages or fantasy football
Stats or behavioral economics or quotes from This Is Spinal Tap (the last
Of which have the relevant dial turned up to 11). We don’t all boost the
same dials and we certainly don’t appreciate being defined; however,
there is one constant that applies to all brands of geek–in all of us, these
dials are turned way up. In fact, our geek informational dials are turned
up to the point that they sometimes drown out our ability to function
smoothly in the social world; in other words, with our geek specialty of
choice thumping away inside our brains at maximum decibels...