The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point:
• Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute.
• Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter.
• Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.”
• Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.”
Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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|Title of eBook: Unusually Stupid Celebrities|
|Release Date: 04-22-2009|
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|Publisher: Random House Publishing Group|
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Unusually Stupid Celebrities
THE CONCERNED CELEBRITY
Celebrities on the World Around Us
Celebrities are like superheroes—they are powerful beings who can use their special skills for good. Or evil, for that matter.
So let us take a look at how celebrities use their power on the world stage.
Celebrities Solve All the World’s Problems, Part 1
It is terribly easy—and terribly unfair—to dismiss celebrities as mere pretty faces. These people are thinkers and carers and doers. Like so many of us, they worry about the world of today, about the pressing problems we face. And, as so-called “creatives,” they are chock-full of extremely creative (not to mention innovative) suggestions on how to solve these problems. We are shocked, shocked, that no one has ever acted upon these ideas.
Let us take a look, then, at some of the most pressing problems existing in the 21st century—and the solutions proposed by various celebrities.
World Problem #1: Terrorism
Celebrity Solution: Put “all the mean people” in a special terrorist country
Tara Reid is one helluva prognosticator. In fact, we wonder why she has never been a talking head on CNN. (Open note to CNN: Sign this gal up!) After the London terrorist subway bombings, she came up with a sage idea on how to prevent further terrorism:
“I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we’d have no terrorists left. Like, don’t kill innocent people for no reason. It’s not fair. We love everybody. We’d even like them if they said they’re sorry. It