Falling in love feels like an accidental occurrence to many people, but in spiritual terms it is not--it is the entrance point to love's journey. Romance has several distinct phases of its own for us to explore--attraction, infatuation, courtship, and intimacy--each partaking of a special spiritual significance.

In the dawning of the next stage, falling in love turns into a committed relationship, usually marriage, and the path changes. Falling in love is over; being in love begins. Spiritually, the word being implies a state of the soul; it is this state that a couple learns to nurture through surrender, the key word in every spiritual relationship. Through surrender, the needs of the ego, which can be extremely selfish and unloving, are transformed into the true need of the spirit, which is always the same--the need to grow. As you grow, you exchange shallow, false feelings for deep, true emotions, and thus compassion, trust, devotion, and service become realities. Such a marriage is sacred; it can never falter because it is based on divine essence. Such a marriage is also innocent, because your only motive is to love and serve the other person. Surrender is the door one must pass through to find passion. Without surrender, passion is centered on a person's craving for pleasure and stimulation.

With surrender, passion is directed toward life itself--in spiritual terms, passion isthe same as letting yourself be swept away on the river of life, which is eternal and neverending in its flow. The final fruit of surrender is ecstasy: when you can let go of all selfish attachments, when you trust that love really is at the core of your nature,you feel complete peace. In this peace there is a seed of sweetness...