Chapter One

Playing the blame game rarely proves a useful exercise, especially when a greater power has marked your card

Some thrive on uncertainty, others would turn the tide to avoid it if they could. Like it or not though, the only thing we can be really sure of at sea is that we never know what'll happen next. Last week, I dropped my biggest anchor on my foot. Was I unlucky, or was it my own stupid fault? There are arguments on both sides, but before examining what constitutes a genuine accident, it's worth sparing a thought for a crew of Japanese fishermen as reported in the Australian Financial Review.

These honest sons of the sea were cruising home mending their nets when a large cow fell from the sky, plunged through the deck before their astonished gaze, continued past the fish hold and out through the bottom. You might be thinking that the beast would have been better employed supplying milk to the thirsty, but the fishermen had other priorities because their boat was sinking rapidly. When they were finally pulled from the water, nobody believed their story. Far from being returned to their loved ones, they were interrogated and slung in jail, presumably under suspicion of insurance fraud.

Weeks later, the truth was leaked by the Russian Air Ministry. Apparently the crew of a cargo plane had stolen a cow, herded her aboard, then taken off for home and a fresh beef dinner. The plan backfired somewhere over the Sea of Japan when the hitherto mild-mannered cudster awoke to the fact that her future looked short and far from pleasant. So violent were her berserk