Chapter One
Who Are You? Baby, Who Are You?
Knowing Who You Are

?You have come here to find
what you already have.?
?Buddhist aphorism

I?M FROM JERSEY. And when I was seventeen, I thought that I could not ask for more out of life than big hair, bright nails, Camaros, shopping malls, attitudes, and accents. And then one day, my world shifted slightly and forever.

My next-door neighbor worked for Piero Dimitri, a couture Italian designer. They needed someone to fill in last-minute at a photo shoot. Without realizing what I was getting myself into, I headed into the city with my neighbor. I thought it was a one-shot deal, but it became a regular gig, and then I became Piero?s ?fit model.? (The fit model is used to fit the samples on as they are being made. Back in the eighties, fit models were taller and curvier, but later Kate Moss became everyone?s fit model, and I was no longer easily fitting into sample sizes. Fortunately for me the TV world came calling before that became a problem.

After I?d been working for Piero for a few months, he suggested that I take on more jobs and get an agent. This is when I started to really see the world outside of Jersey. I would take the PATH train into the city, and in ten minutes I was ten miles away and ten years ahead of anything comfortable or familiar.

All of the other girls came from other countries. They had their own apartments. They flat-ironed their hair. Their nails were short and barely polished. Their clothes were black and boring and could have used some kick-ass accessories. But mostly, their hair was in dire, dire need of some serious back-combing and hairspray.

And then there was me.