Making the Most of the Months Before College Begins

Every year, as a new group of high school graduates and their parents watch the calendar pages turn toward September, emotions begin to churn. Mothers and fathers who were filled with pride when the college acceptance letters arrived a few months ago will soon find themselves wondering, "How can this kid possibly succeed in college? He can't even get out of bed in the morning by himself."

Students who are convinced that they belong at the college of their dreams are equally convinced a day later that they will never fit in: "I think the school made a mistake when they accepted me. I was probably the last person they picked, and I'm going to be the stupidest person on campus. Besides, I don't have the right clothes. No one will like me. It's just not going to work."

For these students and their parents, the issue is clear: Everything is changing. The excitement and anticipation that peaked in late spring turns to chaos during the "senior summer." Recent graduates are rejecting curfews and failing to show up for family meals, defending their freedom by explaining, "In a couple of months, you won't ever know what I'm doing."

Meanwhile, parents are failing in their efforts to maintain peace in the family. Bickering among brothers or sisters reaches new heights. One parent or the other is locked in conflict with the child. Parents listen to their child's unending complaints about the community and the small-mindedness of the neighbors, and they begin to long for the day when they can finally take this miserable, unhappy kid to college. A minute later, they berate themselves for such thoughts, saying, "I know I'll miss her!"

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