chapter one
not telling

Natalia and I stole her mother?s new blue Cadillac and drove out to Overpeck to find Tommy. Natalia steered inexpertly, lurching her way from the luxurious oaklined streets of Linden Hill, New Jersey?lush lawns and stately manors?to the spindly birch trees and ranch houses of Overpeck, aluminum siding and green awnings everywhere.

?Are you sure Tommy will be at this party?? I asked her.

?Pretty sure,? Natalia said. She drummed her French-manicured nails nervously on the wheel. I couldn?t tell if her uneasiness stemmed from our mission or from driving itself. This was our first night together after being grounded for two weeks, and we had promised Natalia?s parents we wouldn?t set foot outside the house. Natalia had a newly minted learner?s permit, but no license. As I wasn?t due to begin driver?s ed until school started again in the fall, I didn?t exactly qualify as the licensed driver who was supposed to be sitting beside her.

It was late in the day, hours after dinner, but the sun still hung stubbornly in the sky. I loved this time of year, early summer, with months of leisure and possibility still ahead. My part-time job?lifeguarding at the local country club where most of my school friends belonged?didn?t start for another ten days, and it would mostly involve dozing behind sunglasses and working on my tan. Even the prospect of confronting Tommy couldn?t entirely interfere with the happiness this kind of bright summer night infused in me. Sparrows perched on swinging telephone wires, and the dull slant of sunlight promised that although darkness was taking its time, night would arrive before too long.

The car rattled over potholes and