Chapter One

"For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." PROVERBS 23:7 NKJV

A therapist recently told me a story about a woman who'd allowed her absentee father-who was also an addict-to define her self-worth. Growing up, she felt that his leaving had something to do with her not being good enough. If she'd just been perfect, she believed, then he would've stayed. Through therapy, she came to realize that his leaving had nothing to do with her and everything to do with him being an addict.

Many who have attended our programs over the years have suffered with chronic low self-worth. They've felt inferior for a long time, not knowing their low self-worth could be rooted in their childhoods, much as the woman the therapist described. Some have carried a sense of inadequacy in their hearts for years, believing they'd never amount to anything.

Often in our childhoods, people in authority over us-parents, teachers, coaches-tell us we will never be good enough. Many of us have also suffered different forms of abuse as children. Physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, or verbal abuse can make us feel broken at the core. We believe the lie: "I'm not good enough, I'm not loveable, and I'm not worth much." These deep feelings of shame and guilt can lead to a host of issues in our lives. Perhaps most damaging of all, we can allow these lies to define us as fundamentally flawed and broken. Learning to define ourselves correctly is one of the key principals of self-acceptance. As the proverb says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he."