Welcome to France. It's only about 90 minutes from London by plane, but it is most definitely Abroad. Moving there is not without its problems, not least the language. From calling a handyman to report a Musketeer in your bedroom, to offering to clean all the shoes in a shoe shop, there are pitfalls for the unwary. You can watch British TV and listen to British radio; you can buy Heat magazine, the Radio Times and day-old copies of the Daily Mail at three times their cover price. You can subscribe to which? or the Spectator. You can order from the Boden catalogue or have knickers delivered to your door courtesy of your M&S. But you can’t find a decent curry, fish and chips or proper sausages in the supermarket and you are banned from using BBC iPlayer (except for selected bits on an ipad). Thinking of moving to France or even just visiting? Don't worry, this book offers you an A to Z of how to life in the Hexagone. Meet the hitchhiking Belgian family having a bad day, the tradesmen who know how to handle a "big problem" and the people who always like to say "non". Come with me for a swim, a drive or a visit to the cinema. All French life is here.